


Shibari

by skeedelvee



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Aftercare, Birthday Smut, Bondage, Fluff and Smut, Hand Jobs, Light BDSM, Light Bondage, M/M, One Shot, POV Simon Snow, Porn with Feelings, Post-Book 2: Wayward Son, Rope Bondage, Sexual Experimentation, Shibari, Smut, Therapy, Touch Aversion, Winged Simon, Working on Mental Health, supportive boyfriends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-26
Updated: 2020-11-26
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:55:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27707960
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skeedelvee/pseuds/skeedelvee
Summary: Simon and Baz are working through Simon's problems with touch aversion together. Simon finds a way to treat Baz for his birthday in a way that lets him do all the touching: Shibari. Simon POV.
Relationships: Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow
Comments: 9
Kudos: 52





	Shibari

Baz and I’ve been working through my troubles with touch aversion. That’s what my therapist calls it, “touch aversion”. She says it’s really common for people with anxiety. Since returning to therapy I’ve been trying to open up about the stuff I try not to think about. It’s uncomfortable to talk about my relationship issues, but tackling this problem makes me more hopeful at least. Talking about all my traumatic experiences on the other hand tends to just leave me raw. 

I like working through it with Baz. My therapist has been sending along readings and worksheets for us to go through on our own. Sometimes it feels like we’re studying together back at Watford. We never did study together, but it’s a nice thought nonetheless.

The other week we made Want/Will/Won’t lists. We read through a big list of intimate and sexual acts and put them into our own categories; stuff we want to do, stuff we’re willing to try, and hard won’ts. I got a little overwhelmed with all the options, so I mostly ignored them and tried to think of what we’ve been doing and what’s most likely to come up as we start off. 

We’ve gotten through a bunch of what was on my list. We’ve got a good handle on snogging again. And I’ve gotten used to casual touching, knowing that the expectation isn’t anything further. It makes me feel accomplished, feeling safe with Baz being in my physical space again; holding hands, cuddling on the couch, having him hold me as we kiss.

We’re still working on sexual touching. If I’m really worked up sometimes it’s easier (or if I’m pissed, but that’s not really a healthy solution). We’ve been able to grind together or touch each other a bit through clothes a couple times. I’m fine touching Baz, sometimes I still get overwhelmed when he touches me though. I start thinking too much and we just have to stop. He’s been really supportive about it, the communication’s been good for both of us really.

We’ve been trying to incorporate more “words of affirmation” since we read about the different love languages from a worksheet. We try to tell each other whenever it comes to mind: things we like about each other, when we’d like to touch the other person, or when we’d like to be touched. There’s never pressure to actually do any touching, but I think Baz appreciates getting reminded that he’s wanted. Plus I enjoy getting him flustered by texting him while he’s at school or he’s out, letting him know when he pops to mind. It’s too often to only tell him in person.

Baz’s list is a little more daunting. I knew he held himself back the first try for my sake. I appreciate he didn’t want to overwhelm me, but I needed to know the scope of his desires. I made him try again and use the whole example list this time. I don’t know if Baz is properly kinky or just insanely curious. Most things he had either wanted to do or was willing to try. I’ve tried to focus just on the wants for now. Half of it I’ve had to look up the meanings for, Watford did not have a comprehensive sex ed course by any means.

I’ve been trying to think of something to do for Baz for his birthday, so I’ve been combing the list thinking of what I can handle. There in the middle of the column is the word “Shibari”. I look it up and see hundreds of pictures of people tied up with ropes in intricate designs. I’m not gonna lie, the idea of it is a bit overwhelming, but in an odd way it ticks a lot of boxes for what I’m looking for. I get to do all the touching, it’ll center around Baz’s pleasure, and I’ll be in control the whole time.

Baz’s birthday comes and I’ve got the whole day prepared. I pick him up at his flat and take him to the art museum he likes. We walk around holding hands and when we pass any unoccupied alcoves I snog him senseless and tell him he’s the most beautiful thing in the whole building. We eat at a nice (ish) restaurant for dinner, steaks and red wine. Then we walk hand in hand back to my flat. I convinced Penny to visit her family for the weekend, so we’ve got the place to ourselves.

That brings us to now, I’m stood in my bedroom presenting Baz with the silk rope I bought for tonight. His lips are parted in surprise, they’re still red from snogging on the couch when we got in.

“It’s for Shibari, I saw it on your list. I thought it might be a good thing to try since I’ll get to do all the touching.”

He clears his throat. “Are you sure? You know I don’t expect you to do anything just because it’s my birthday.”

“I know. You’ve been so patient with me though, I wanted to try something special to show my appreciation.”

He kisses me lightly and holds both my hands loosely. “Alright, let’s try. How do you want me?”

“Strip down to your pants and then kneel on the bed.”

I sit back and watch. We’ve seen each other naked a few times now, just with low stakes while getting changed. Still, watching Baz carefully remove his clothes and lay them aside sends a thrill through me. He’s properly gorgeous. He’s toned in his legs and abdomen from years of football (school and now intramural). His skin is flawless and taught like polished marble. His hair hangs down in soft waves just over his broad shoulders, framing his beautiful face.

I take off my shirt, but leave my trousers on. “Could you unspell my wings before we start?”

He picks his wand up off the table. “Of course, darling. **_As you were!_ **”

My wings and tail unfurl behind me. I give them a quick stretch before retracting them. Baz and I both settle on the bed. He’s kneeling on his haunches at the head and I’m sitting in front of him unraveling the ropes. My tail twitches against the bedspread with nerves.

“I’m going to do up your legs first, then work my way up over your chest and arms. Tell me if something's too tight or if you want to stop, ok? I’ve got safety scissors right here if we need to cut you loose.”

“Yes, Simon, of course.”

“Ok. Um, lie on your side while I work on your legs.” He tips over and lies back on an elbow. I take a deep breath and then start to follow the instructions in my head. I wrap and bind each bent leg, keeping his thighs pressed to his calves. I tie them off, making sure they’re firm but not too tight.

“How does that feel?”

“Perfect. Help me up, will you?”

I wrap my arms around his shoulders and pull him back up. I give him a quick kiss before returning to the ropes. I grip the two ends leading off his legs and try to refocus. It’s a little hard to think of only the ropes though because I can now see Baz’s pants begin to fill with his clear desire. I can feel heat begin to pool in my stomach, but I shake the thought away for now and get back to work. 

My fingers glide against his soft skin as I wrap and twist the ropes around him. The ropes lead over his stomach and chest and wrap around his arms, trapping them behind his back. I wind the last bits over his shoulders and knot them with the rest of the rope crossing his chest. Then I sit back and gaze at my work.

“You’re so beautiful, Baz.”

“Can I see?”

“Oh, of course! Umm… I’ve only got a mirror in the bathroom. Uhhh… Oh! I could use-” I pull out my phone and turn on the front facing camera. I hold it out to Baz so he can get a good look at himself. He looks so soft as he takes in the sight.

“Wow. I am beautiful, aren’t I? I feel like a gift wrapped present. Thank you, Simon, I feel so special.”

“Of course. I’m glad you’re enjoying it.”

I go to put away my phone, but he cuts me off. “You could take a picture if you like. Something to remember tonight by.”

“Oh, you're sure?” I’m definitely blushing hard, I can feel the blood rise to my cheeks.

“Only if you want to. I like the idea of you having it to look at at your leisure.”

I nod and bring my phone back up. I set up the shot and snap. He’s all sharp lines and soft lips, and I know I’ll be returning to the image often after tonight. 

“Is it alright if I touch you now?”

“Please.”

I sit as close as I can and reach my hands out. My fingers caress and explore every inch of skin I see, going up his thighs, over his stomach, across his chest, around his shoulders, down his arms. He stares at me with lust drunk eyes. I lean forward and press my lips to his, softly then deeply as we melt into each other. 

I bury my hands in his hair as our lips and tongues slide together. The heat is back and I can feel my erection straining in my trousers, I don’t know if I’m ready to address it yet. Baz must be painfully hard by now though. I trail a hand down and squeeze his thigh, he moans softly into my mouth. My hand inches its way up til it rests on top of his bulge.

“I wish I didn’t have you keep these on.” I whisper against his lips.

“Cut them off then.” He whispers back.

I pull back an inch. “They look expensive, Baz, I don’t want to ruin them.”

“I can just mend them back together with magic. It’s up to you, Simon. I really don’t mind.”

I swallow hard, then stick out my chin. I’ve never been one to back down from Baz’s challenges. I pick up the safety scissors and run them under the hem of Baz’s boxer briefs. I feel an electric current as I snip through the fabric, like I’m doing something bad but in an exciting way. I cut my way through both pant legs and then pull the fabric away from the back. His cock springs free between us.

We’re both breathing hard, me from excitement, him from arousal and most likely insecurity of whether I’ll run from what's presented to me. I’ve seen Baz’s cock before, in glances and peeks, but never like this. Never this close, never laid before me like a delicacy that makes my mouth water. It’s perfect, just like the rest of him: sculpted and smooth, flushed a pretty shade of pink from the blood pumping within it.

I lock eyes with him with confidence and lick my palm. His expression goes from unsure to enraptured in seconds while watching me. I reach down and grasp his shaft, stroking it like how I would stroke myself. He lets out a soft whimper and lowers his head to my shoulder. I can feel his hot breath puffing over my neck and it spurs me on. 

I’ve wrapped my free hand around him, holding him close where his shoulder blades meet. I pull his hair back and begin to mouth at his exposed neck, licking and bruising the sensitive flesh. He moans in my arms, body writhing from my touch. There’s precum dribbling down from his crown, I spread it with my fingers and quicken my strokes.

He’s babbling into my skin. “Simon Simon Simon good so good yes just like that…” It’s intoxicating taking him apart like this. I think to myself (and not for the first time either): _I’ve finally got you right where I want you_. I lick up the side of his neck and he keens, squirming in his restraints.

“That’s it. Come on. Cum for me, Baz.”

He lets out a sob then a cry as I pull his orgasm out of him. His body tenses under the ropes and he throws his head back. It’s beautiful, the sheer look of ecstasy on his face as the pleasure peaks within him. His fangs have popped and there’s tears welling up behind his lashes, I hope he doesn’t try to hide them. 

I keep stroking him as he comes down from his orgasm. When he begins to tremble I wipe my hand on my trousers and take him back in my arms. When he starts to sniffle out tears I pull back and hold his face in my hands.

“You’re so brave, Baz. Brave and beautiful and wonderful. You’re so so wonderful, Baz.”

His face breaks in a teary smile. “I love you, Simon.”

“I love _you_.” And I seal it with a kiss. It’s not the first time we’ve said it and it won’t be the last, but there’s something momentous about this occasion that brings the words new meaning. Like they’re being fortified and cast in bronze, like the act of showing love makes the words stronger.

“Should I untie you or would you prefer I cut you loose?”

“Untie, please.”

As I loosen and unwind the knotted cords I leave a trail of kisses in their wake. Making sure each inch of skin is soothed and adored. I lie Baz down into the pillows, clean up his stomach and wipe away his tears. I drape a blanket over us as I settle in next to him. My tail wraps itself around his calf of its own volition. I lean over him and stroke his cheek.

“Happy birthday, Baz. Did you enjoy your present?”

“Thoroughly. Thank you, Snow.”

“Simon.”

“Yes, thank you, Simon.” He’s too loved up to put up a fuss. It’s a good look on him honestly, dopey post orgasm smile and all.

“Do you want me to-?” He flicks his eyes downward.

Before I can overthink it I nod for him to go ahead. I want it, I want him. I lie back and he undoes my flies under the blanket. His hand dips in and pulls out my cock, I’ve already got plenty of precum to lubricate his movements. I’m so wound up from touching him that it only takes a few pulls from his fist to finish me off. I let the good feeling wash over me as I grunt and spill over my stomach. Once I come down I pull Baz down into a lingering kiss, hoping he feels in it just how much tonight’s meant to me.

Baz takes care of the rest of the mess with a quick **Clean as a Whistle** _._ We part only briefly as I strip off my trousers and pants. I lie on my side and rest my head on Baz’s chest, relaxing my wings behind me. Baz winds his arms around me and holds me tight. The touching is welcome tonight and I have high hopes for tomorrow.

**Author's Note:**

> If anyone feels inspired to draw some SnowBaz Shibari after reading this, please send it my way! Especially if it's pulled from the text, I would die. I had a lot of fun making my drawing of the photo moment. Please forgive the lack of body hair, I honestly forgot lol
> 
> Headcanon about my own fic: Baz definitely keeps the cut up pants unmended as a momento, cause he is 100% that bitch 
> 
> Shout out to Peachpit_Gabe 's fic about Simon getting the Shibari treatment: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27091228  
> Didn't read it til after I'd finished writing mine, it was cool to see how we both used it, in our own way, as a vehicle for Simon's touch aversion treatment.


End file.
